Sam's Blog

Traveling woes...

Oh, man. I haven't posted in a few days. I've been traveling a bit lately and I'm exhausted. Chicago a couple of weeks ago...Seattle last week... I'm home for a little while now.

While I'm on the subject of traveling...a few gripes:

Sense of humor - I'm convinced that the ticket agents are humoring themselves - especially when some of us get to the airport early to request a seat change - preferably an exit row or bulkhead row. I think they save certain rows for the guys with the broadest shoulders. Sure you get legroom but, 24-inch wide shoulders in a 14-inch seat... On the way up to Seattle and back, I'm sitting next to Mr. Olympia and 'The Fridge's' twin. It is impossible to get comfortable... And do they purposely cross your seatbelt with the guy next to you. It's pretty awkward trying to wrestle your seatbelt from underneath someone's butt... Finally, apparently, the ideal time for a ticket agent to take a break is when they are the only agent and 15+ people are standing in line. Luckily, the next guy's shift starts in 10-minutes....

Armrests - Ahhhh…Life is good. You have the window seat or the coveted aisle seat and… You’re lucky enough to get first dibs on the armrest – yes, that 2-inch piece of metal, plastic, and vinyl that separates you from the person next to you (separates your trunk – not your @$$). You’re relaxed – almost comfortable. Oh, man… Then, you take your arm off of the armrest…just for a second – to adjust the air, to lean the seat back, to get your snack/drink, to turn the light off, … - BAM! You’ve lost the armrest. The middle guy gets it. WTH? Now, your arms are in your lap, or crossed, or hanging on the seat in front of you. You’re cramping up. You can’t stand it. You try to get the armrest back. After all, it was yours to begin with – right? But no, you snooze, you lose. Aaarggh!

Steel wool - So…you’ve lost the armrest. It’s done – over. But there’s no way you’re going to be uncomfortable for the whole flight – right? Wrong. It’s apparently an FAA rule to put anyone who has “steel wool” arm hair in the middle seat. Yep. That nasty, annoying, inflexible forearm hair that gives the guy an extra 2-inches on each side. You try to recover the armrest that was rightfully yours (see above) or even sit somewhat upward but you can't!...it touches you. The middle guy, sleeping comfortably because he has both armrests & some of each seat on either side, doesn't feel a thing. You’re still cramping up…the guy at the opposite end of your row is too…but the guy in the middle is living it up….. That's it! I'm taking my armrest back! Ugh! What? Does he sharpen the damn hair? I put bait on fish hooks that weren't that sharp. Oh, well. The flight's only an hour and 1/2...

Snacks - 1/2 a soda and 2 dry cookies slivers (they name it biscotti as if somehow that makes it better) is a teaser...not a snack...

posted by Sam @ 7:53 PM